It might be only Sunday afternoon with half the day left but it’s been one hell of a weekend with a lot happening which just begs a report of some description.

Where do we begin? I suppose Friday evening is a fair time after all, once I finally left work, that’s where it begins. Actually, it’s probably more noteworthy to start lunchtime Friday. I’m not going to name names but want to spare blushes but I was supposed to have lunch with a friend…somewhere. But we missed each other on the street and after trying to ascertain where each other was, I couldn’t make any further contact. I tried a second number and it transpired that he had his phone swiped out of his hand by some street-trash vermin on a bike passing by. Talk about rotten stinking luck, all we can hope is that the thief swerved into the path of a bus, was crushed and only has hours to live.

I didn’t feel like going home after work because I’d have been sat on a sauna train for ages only to change clothes and come out again so instead went for a Hyde Park walk and went up Piccadilly to Green Park. Along the way I saw that the streets were occupied by several hundred cyclists on some sort of…peace cycle? Noisy and someone was playing back to back Michael Jackson which just didn’t work. But towards the front of the parade, I think a cyclist had picked a fight with a cab driver (or vice versa) because the entire convoy had stopped moving and a woman was yelling “let him go” over and over again. I carried on walking and heard a massive cheer as the convoy moved off. Jumped on the train and headed south, paying it no heed.

Got to the Griffin at 8 after a quick detour to Sainsbury’s for some deodorant as I was sweating like a glass-blower’s arse and received a quiz sheet for the night’s brain teasers. Then Joey arrived followed by Matt and the rest of the gang. The three of us were able to complete the quiz sheet before everyone arrived, got all the questions right and we won a bottle of Cava. Given the higher than average liquor intake lately, I forewent booze until 10pm when I succumbed to a Crabbies and then a Koppaberg but limited it to those two (plus the cava which John let us have in the pub).

Pie was served bang on time though our group pulled a fast one on the rest of the crowd – whilst the “smart” lot seized the chairs and tables, we lined up in the queue and got served first. And the queue quickly filled up behind us so those at tables and chairs had to wait for ages; ha ha ha ha ha. It was lentil pie again for us herbivores which wasn’t bad but was hoping for something a little different. I might suggest mushroom and asparagus or perhaps Pumpkin Pie for Halloween. But it was good nonetheless.

Caught up with a few people, had a good time and most importantly, I was able to hop on the last tube home (and I mean the last tube).

Although my alarm went off at 9.15, I just couldn’t get out of bed until 9.30, dragged my sweaty carcass into the shower and washed off the sleep and gunk from the night before. A large coffee was also needed to perk me up before I felt capable of leaving the house and I hopped on the bus towards Stratford. I was surprised how empty it was, ditto the station at that time in the morning which has given me the idea to go to Westfield at 9am on a Saturday as it shouldn’t be so vile as it was last week. Despite London Underground’s best efforts at shutting down the network, I was still able to get to St Pancras in good time and arrived at the champagne bar. The first thing I noticed was that the website prices and the actual prices were two separate concepts – they’d seemed to have jumped up almost 20%. Rob and I bought our own starter glass of champagne – he had one with 24 carat gold leaf in it and I had a “Meet Me At St Pancras” which was Vodka, Passion Fruit, Champagne and Lemon Syrup which tasted very not bad as it happens although I was nervous about swallowing all those fruit seeds.

The second irritation of the morning was when the “discretionary” tip seemed to be compulsory until Rob (bless him) stood up for us, much to the confusion of the staff. If I thought it’d make the least bit of difference, I’d consider a snottogram to whomever was in charge but don’t think it’d do much good. But we had some cash left over and so rather than take the taster platter as suggested, we thought we’d have the Strawberries and Cream as well as some chocolate truffles which were a real hit. At 12.40 we said good bye to Lee although didn’t get too mushy being a stoic type (!) And then we went to Sophie’s in Covent Garden which was where Joey had his birthday pre-meal before the cocktails at Be @ One earlier in the year.

I think I had something of a champagne crash as I was fairly quiet at that point although that’s not quite the entire truth. Some of it was to do with the fact I was getting increasingly tired because of a week of missing sleep coupled with a little bit of irritation. Said bye to Alex as he’s off to Kiwiland for three weeks. After a quick visit to Forbidden Planet, I made my way home, lay on the couch and refused to move for three hours as I was totally out of it. After I’d watched 6 episodes of Futurama back to back, I rolled off and undertook some housework, putting a laundry load in, vacuuming and some surfaces before a pasta meal and some cold, cold drinks. At 10pm, some bozo’s from across the street decided their house was an open-air rave concert and began blasting entire neighbourhood with some shitty music.

I did consider a trip to the Thingbox Fete as we were in the neighbourhood(ish) but didn’t feel like it in the end, it’s just too bad everything seemed to converge on this weekend as I would have liked to have gone – not least as I could have taken my plates and stuff around to be smashed up. Now I’ll have to save it all for next year.

Well, there went my plans for an early night. At 11.15 I decided to phone the non-emergency police number only to be informed that the police don’t answer “house party” calls. I almost did the “someone has been shot” thing just to get them round but decided that wasn’t necessarily a good thing and instead was on hold for 25 minutes whilst I tried to get through to Newham’s noise unit. They sent people around to the offending house around 1am and finally they shut up – although I don’t know if music equipment was confiscated or not.

And so this brings us neatly around to today where the only thing on the agenda was a trip up to Tesco for some essentials as I was running low on various chemical supplies as well as some food odds and sods. The sunny weather was quite nice although it was a mistake to wander Leytonstone High Road in my black vinyl shirt given how quick it sucked up the sun’s rays. Still, Tesco wasn’t as crazy as it was normally and I was able to get everything on my list for once. I spent £80 (£101 before reductions were applied) which I think wasn’t bad as £20 of that was non-grocery. Took a taxi home and watched the Empire Strikes Back on blu-ray (sound is fantastic like the picture) and that ended about 20 minutes ago.

As for tonight, well I did stock up on rather a lot of yellow sticker stuff so that’ll have to be my evening meal at least before I decide whether to go out or not after the usual hair trimming/beard trimming. I’ll be glad when the evenings cool down a little although I’m very grateful for not needing to stick on the heating as yet given the extortionate amounts gas supplies are at the moment. Too bad I didn’t win the rollover.

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