Stupid title I know but Henry VIII’s last words popped into my head (Monks, Monks, Monks) and I thought I’d abuse it.  Besides which, he’s been wormfood for 452 years.
For the last year, I’ve had a spare double mattress in my room for want of another place to keep it.  I got rid of it on Saturday only to acquire another spare mattress and a spare double bed (!) much to my annoyance.  It isn’t mine, it belongs to the landlord but I’m sorely tempted to try and get rid of the wretched thing by hook, crook or fire.  Thing is, it’s less than a year old and the mattress is orthopaedic so has some wretched benefit.
Why is there a spare bed?  Seem to have acquired another housemate which necessitated swapping of beds.  Don’t ask why because the truth only makes me look like a sucker at best.