I got on the 257 to go to Tesco’s to do some shopping.  Normal Sunday and all that.  Anyway, at the bus stop outside the Britannia got on this chav.  Typical greasy hair, white tracksuit top, long pointed nose on his rat-looking face.  He picked a fight with the driver.
 
He decided to do a two picosecond flash of his travelcard and naturally the driver asked to see it again as that’s the usual trick for people who cannot be bothered to pay their fare.  He got irritated – correction – uptight about it all.  Called the driver a "stupid black cunt" and stormed upstairs.  He didn’t so much say it as announce it to the whole of Leytonstone.  Naturally you could see all the non-white people in their seats narrow their eyes and most of the white passengers as well.  Unfortunately, or so it seems, one guy upstairs took great exception and obviously began staring him out.  This led to another altercation on the bus.  The black guy marched downstairs and they began to have a shouting match, him daring ferret-face to comedownstairs and have a fight.
 
Naturally, ferret-face obliged – or rather stood at the top of the stairs and took a couple of swings and a couple of kicks.  Poorly timed and easily dodged.  I might have tried to grab the legs and drag him down the stairs if it were me.  Anyway, he ventures down the stairs, they began to scream at each other face to face.  Ferret-boy then swings again and connects.  Huge mistake.  Black guy throws him to the seats and pummels him relentlessly but it’s questionable as to how hard he’s hitting or how accurately he’s landing his blows as didn’t seem to be causing much damage.  The punches looked hard and fast but I really couldn’t tell from where I was sitting their effectiveness.  Everyone of the other passengers ran off the bus; only I remained on the back watching impassively.  Finally, another passenger got back on the bus and pulled the black guy off ferret-face and the driver finally decides to intervene, ordering him off the bus. 
 
Personally, I wanted to get involved but tactically I was in a bad position for a fight.  A bus’ aisles are no position for maneuver and there are too many objects and people in the way.  I was wearing my soft shoes which would have negated my kicking ability.  Don’t ask why I wanted to join in – it felt like a good idea at the time.
 
Anyway, on the way back from Tesco and in the back of the minicab, we were passing the garage forecourt (Courts??) when the moron in front of us braked suddenly and we went straight into his bumper.  The girlfriend got out and gave us a mouthful.  The driver said "no, that was already like that" and we drove away at speed as they proceeded to argue about it.  Wankers.
 
I’m sure if I’d bothered to go out to Soho Pride, some third incident would have happened.  Perhaps I’d have met that arsehole from Friday who hit me twice.  I say he hit me – it wasn’t that hard but hard enough to be of some minor discomfort.  He was trying to be alpha-male and I wasn’t having it.  Dave had to chase him off because I whispered "if he does that a third time, I’m going to hit him back".
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